There's nothing like a good election hey? It's been so long since we had to go to the polls to give a personally abhorrent conservative another term of being drunk with power behind the machinery of the State that I was almost starting to go through withdrawal.
Also, I really just wanted and excuse to put up a placeholder post here to replace that poorly thought out John McCain sight gag from July.
Sabbaticals are rough, let me tell you.
But in the meantime, I'd just like to throw out an unsubstantiated rumour relayed to me by a confidante who made the questionable life decision of being involved with the New Democrats: namely, that Ryan Cleary's campaign manager (or similarly frivolous position) is none other than my good friend Ivan Morgan! I have no idea if this is true but I really hope that it is - if only so that Cleary's coffers will be filled with complimentary Purity pastries.
Feel free to spread that rumour around anyways - there's nothing like a good self-fulfilling prophecy.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Saturday, July 5, 2008
I, dwarf
As usual, Ed Hollett is quicker than yours truly on actually putting things on the internet with real relevance and import to things that matter.
But anything related to Ray Guy bears repeating, naturally.
It is always good form to pay occasional homage to the giants upon whose shoulders we stand.
But anything related to Ray Guy bears repeating, naturally.
It is always good form to pay occasional homage to the giants upon whose shoulders we stand.
Friday, July 4, 2008
We Are (not) Devo!
The Order of Canada is the centrepiece of Canada’s honours system and recognizes a lifetime of outstanding achievement, dedication to the community and service to the nation. The Order recognizes people in all sectors of Canadian society. Their contributions are-
OH HEY LOOK EVERYONE, NORMAN DOYLE IS HERE
LOOKS LIKE HE'S BROUGHT OPINIONS
Just for argument's sake, sir, let's imagine for a second that abortion isn't a hot-button issue for millions of Canadians who define themselves and their political identities entirely around opposition to the subject. Let's also imagine that federal elections are not decided by single-issue swing voters who put the issue of abortion above every other issue facing Canadians every day.
I trust this shouldn't be very hard.
No, let's get right down to the utmost basic flaw that permeates every discussion of abortion (and a host of other issues) that has ever taken place all across recorded history.
Are we not men, Mr. Doyle?
Could be possible that - maybe, just maybe - the fact that we are physiologically precluded from ever experiencing an unwanted pregnancy, and any of the accompanying issues, mean that the issue of abortion is entirely a woman's issue?
Could it be that regardless of our respective opinions on abortion, whether "pro-life" or "pro-choice", and no matter the validity of our points, we should both butt out of the discussion because it is fundamentally not our issue, and never will be our issue, in any way, shape, or form save the very periphery of a woman's consideration?
Dr. Henry Morgentaler did not dedicate his life to pontificating on the glories of abortions, nor did he dedicate his life attempting to subvert the moral fabric of Canadian society in an effort to increase 'business' in some nebulous abortion 'industry.' Dr. Morgentaler was simply the most vocal actor for the only real role any man has to play in the issue of abortion - that it should be left entirely up to women, the only people on earth even physically capable of having an abortion, to safely and legally choose what they want to do with their bodies.
Frankly, the only controversy that should be surrounding Dr. Morgentaler's induction into the Order of Canada is why it took so long to happen.
This is not your war, Mr. Doyle. It's not mine, and it's not Patrick Hanlon's; it is not the field of anyone who produces sperm. It is for women - and only women - to decide, for or against, "life" or "choice", and this is understood by anyone who isn't trapped inside an intellectual prison of latent sexism and regressive social attitudes.
Kindly get out of politics, sir. You - and all men like you - are an embarrassment to your constituents and an affront to any Canadian with a working moral compass.
OH HEY LOOK EVERYONE, NORMAN DOYLE IS HERE
LOOKS LIKE HE'S BROUGHT OPINIONS
Just for argument's sake, sir, let's imagine for a second that abortion isn't a hot-button issue for millions of Canadians who define themselves and their political identities entirely around opposition to the subject. Let's also imagine that federal elections are not decided by single-issue swing voters who put the issue of abortion above every other issue facing Canadians every day.
I trust this shouldn't be very hard.
No, let's get right down to the utmost basic flaw that permeates every discussion of abortion (and a host of other issues) that has ever taken place all across recorded history.
Are we not men, Mr. Doyle?
Could be possible that - maybe, just maybe - the fact that we are physiologically precluded from ever experiencing an unwanted pregnancy, and any of the accompanying issues, mean that the issue of abortion is entirely a woman's issue?
Could it be that regardless of our respective opinions on abortion, whether "pro-life" or "pro-choice", and no matter the validity of our points, we should both butt out of the discussion because it is fundamentally not our issue, and never will be our issue, in any way, shape, or form save the very periphery of a woman's consideration?
Dr. Henry Morgentaler did not dedicate his life to pontificating on the glories of abortions, nor did he dedicate his life attempting to subvert the moral fabric of Canadian society in an effort to increase 'business' in some nebulous abortion 'industry.' Dr. Morgentaler was simply the most vocal actor for the only real role any man has to play in the issue of abortion - that it should be left entirely up to women, the only people on earth even physically capable of having an abortion, to safely and legally choose what they want to do with their bodies.
Frankly, the only controversy that should be surrounding Dr. Morgentaler's induction into the Order of Canada is why it took so long to happen.
This is not your war, Mr. Doyle. It's not mine, and it's not Patrick Hanlon's; it is not the field of anyone who produces sperm. It is for women - and only women - to decide, for or against, "life" or "choice", and this is understood by anyone who isn't trapped inside an intellectual prison of latent sexism and regressive social attitudes.
Kindly get out of politics, sir. You - and all men like you - are an embarrassment to your constituents and an affront to any Canadian with a working moral compass.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
The Richard Raleigh Spin/Approval Matrix
Apparently, according to a local political scientist, Tom Rideout's exodus from politics won't hurt Danny Williams politically.
Fascinating.
All the real political scientists at MUN must have been out on summer vacation or writing some esoteric journal articles they could later tout smugly at academic conferences, because Mr. Temelini doesn't really seem to have any deep or poignant insight to offer on the topic.
To anyone who has been paying attention to provincial politics since 2005, this development isn't really a surprise; if the findings of the Cameron Inquiry didn't make the Premier's approval rating falter on its ascension to 90+, then his cartoonishly villainous attempts to discredit the process probably should have. Naturally, of course, this didn't happen, because that would make sense, and this is Newfoundland and Labrador.
This leaves us with only one reasonable thought on the topic: if none of this will hurt the Premier's poll ratings, what will?
Allow me to soothe all your curiousities - in harkening back to the skills I learned as a young, wide-eyed and idealistic political science undergraduate, I have constructed this handy reference list. These conclusions are highly scientific so feel free to cite them in casual or professional conversation, as the knowledge they imparts will make you the envy of your friends and co-workers!
THE RICHARD RALEIGH SPIN/APPROVAL MATRIX
SCANDAL: Danny Williams steals candy from small child and/or infant
EFFECT: Child spun as to be from the mainland and the candy was Purity brand, Premier seen as standing up to the feds and getting 'our fair share', approval rating +2%
SCANDAL: Danny Williams crosses floor at the House of Assembly, punches out Roland Butler
EFFECT: Premier seen across the province as "total badass", young children abandon backyard wrestling to re-enact Question Period thus creating new generation of career politicians, clip appears on YouTube overdubbed with the solo from Metallica's "One"; approval rating goes to 99%
SCANDAL: Danny Williams revealed to worship Satan and perform ritual human sacrifice
EFFECT: Premier uses dark magicks to erase the memories of everyone in the province like an arcane version of the flashing stick in Men In Black, approval rating still goes up 1%
SCANDAL: Danny Williams' Viper runs red light, kills cyclist
EFFECT: Running red light spun as the Premier always working on a go-forward basis for the people of this province, killing a cyclist with luxury car spun as not allowing development of properous oil industry to be hampered by burdensome environmental regulations; approval +6%
SCANDAL: Danny Williams involved in sex scandal with subordinate(s)
EFFECT: Approval ratings increase in accordance to how public ranks the woman in question on a scale of 1-10; an increase of at least 8% is assumed
SCANDAL: John Efford becomes leader of the Liberals
EFFECT: Premier's approval ratings drop drastically as people realise Efford would be a greahahahahahaha I can't even finish this sentence
-------------------------------
Rick Hillier, if you're reading this, yes, I am interested in becoming the new head of Memorial's political science department, thank you for asking!
Fascinating.
All the real political scientists at MUN must have been out on summer vacation or writing some esoteric journal articles they could later tout smugly at academic conferences, because Mr. Temelini doesn't really seem to have any deep or poignant insight to offer on the topic.
To anyone who has been paying attention to provincial politics since 2005, this development isn't really a surprise; if the findings of the Cameron Inquiry didn't make the Premier's approval rating falter on its ascension to 90+, then his cartoonishly villainous attempts to discredit the process probably should have. Naturally, of course, this didn't happen, because that would make sense, and this is Newfoundland and Labrador.
This leaves us with only one reasonable thought on the topic: if none of this will hurt the Premier's poll ratings, what will?
Allow me to soothe all your curiousities - in harkening back to the skills I learned as a young, wide-eyed and idealistic political science undergraduate, I have constructed this handy reference list. These conclusions are highly scientific so feel free to cite them in casual or professional conversation, as the knowledge they imparts will make you the envy of your friends and co-workers!
THE RICHARD RALEIGH SPIN/APPROVAL MATRIX
SCANDAL: Danny Williams steals candy from small child and/or infant
EFFECT: Child spun as to be from the mainland and the candy was Purity brand, Premier seen as standing up to the feds and getting 'our fair share', approval rating +2%
SCANDAL: Danny Williams crosses floor at the House of Assembly, punches out Roland Butler
EFFECT: Premier seen across the province as "total badass", young children abandon backyard wrestling to re-enact Question Period thus creating new generation of career politicians, clip appears on YouTube overdubbed with the solo from Metallica's "One"; approval rating goes to 99%
SCANDAL: Danny Williams revealed to worship Satan and perform ritual human sacrifice
EFFECT: Premier uses dark magicks to erase the memories of everyone in the province like an arcane version of the flashing stick in Men In Black, approval rating still goes up 1%
SCANDAL: Danny Williams' Viper runs red light, kills cyclist
EFFECT: Running red light spun as the Premier always working on a go-forward basis for the people of this province, killing a cyclist with luxury car spun as not allowing development of properous oil industry to be hampered by burdensome environmental regulations; approval +6%
SCANDAL: Danny Williams involved in sex scandal with subordinate(s)
EFFECT: Approval ratings increase in accordance to how public ranks the woman in question on a scale of 1-10; an increase of at least 8% is assumed
SCANDAL: John Efford becomes leader of the Liberals
EFFECT: Premier's approval ratings drop drastically as people realise Efford would be a greahahahahahaha I can't even finish this sentence
-------------------------------
Rick Hillier, if you're reading this, yes, I am interested in becoming the new head of Memorial's political science department, thank you for asking!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
"Leave Britney alone!" *cries*
In a shocking twist that is completely out of sync with all past trends, it turns out that the provincial government's nebulous Department of Economic DevelopmentEnergy Corporation will be shielded from prying eyes in the interests of safeguarding "commercially sensitive information."
According to the Department of Natural Resources' spokeswoman Kathy Dunderdale, this is necessary in order for the Energy Corporation to
At first glance, these two aims seem almost contradictory and Dunderdale initially looks like she has no idea what she's talking about and is just blurting out government buzzwords as a default reaction to being called on in the House of Assembly.
Nothing could be further from the truth! Constant questioning and incessant scrutiny directed at government initiatives ultimately slows down the march towards giving us, the people, our Fair Share. And if journalists and opposition parties had access to "commercially sensitive information" like "details respecting revenues" and "costs" relating to potential projects, well by God people might complain about things being a "waste of money" or "totally non-feasible" and we'd never get anywhere.
Frankly, anyone who is worried about the prospect of shrouding the information relating to the Energy Corporation's activity hasn't been paying attention to the provincial government's track record. Time and time again, history has shown that if there is anything that government-driven energy development initiatives need less of, it's transparency. Can you imagine where we'd be as a province today if BRINCO had been scrutinised to death?
Actually, on second thought, don't answer that.
According to the Department of Natural Resources' spokeswoman Kathy Dunderdale, this is necessary in order for the Energy Corporation to
"function in the world of business [...] [and] be accountable to the people of this province. What we are doing with [the Act to Amend the Energy Corporation Act] is giving the Energy Corp. the tools to be able to do that effectively."
At first glance, these two aims seem almost contradictory and Dunderdale initially looks like she has no idea what she's talking about and is just blurting out government buzzwords as a default reaction to being called on in the House of Assembly.
Nothing could be further from the truth! Constant questioning and incessant scrutiny directed at government initiatives ultimately slows down the march towards giving us, the people, our Fair Share. And if journalists and opposition parties had access to "commercially sensitive information" like "details respecting revenues" and "costs" relating to potential projects, well by God people might complain about things being a "waste of money" or "totally non-feasible" and we'd never get anywhere.
Frankly, anyone who is worried about the prospect of shrouding the information relating to the Energy Corporation's activity hasn't been paying attention to the provincial government's track record. Time and time again, history has shown that if there is anything that government-driven energy development initiatives need less of, it's transparency. Can you imagine where we'd be as a province today if BRINCO had been scrutinised to death?
Actually, on second thought, don't answer that.
BACK TO THE FUTURE
Some gems of wisdom passed down to us from the Greatest Generation turned out to be slightly more useful than "duck and cover."
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Riddle Me This
If CBC is to be believed, apparently Danny Williams has renewed confidence in the abilities of his cabinet now that former Premier Tom Rideout has tendered his resignation.
Of course, any true Newfoundlander knows CBC is not to be believed, as the Premier courageously demonstrated recently when he (rightly) pointed out that David Cochrane was unfairly attempting to undermine the mastery of our own domain by doing unnecessarily subversive things like asking questions in media scrums.
But, for the sake of argument, let's take the CBC story at face value and assume that when Yvonne Jones asked the Premier if he had any certainty in the ability of his ministers to do their jobs, he did in fact respond with "I have certainty now that Tom Rideout is gone."
Let that sink in for a moment.
According to Danny Williams, Tom Rideout - a man whose political career stretches back to 1975, who is a former Premier with a cumulative decade of ministerial experience - is incompetent.
On the other hand, Joan Burke's revolutionary "well if the Liberals hadn't screwed everything up during the 1990s, I wouldn't have problems to ignore, now would I?" approach to the Department of Education is positively sublime in its genius.
Kathy Dunderdale's performance in her role as "spokeswoman" of the Natural Resources Department is downright enviable.
And of course, the Honourable Ross Wiseman continues to display stunning prowess in the position of Minister of Health and Community Services, up to and including astonishing four month spurts of illiteracy.
Although, upon further reflection, the question that Jones asked was whether or not the Premier had confidence in his ministers' ability to do their jobs. Which, in his defence, he did answer truthfully: every minister who wasn't Tom Rideout was doing a spectacular job.
This is because in Williams' cabinet, the job isn't managing your portfolio with any degree of competency.
It's towing the Premier's line.
Of course, any true Newfoundlander knows CBC is not to be believed, as the Premier courageously demonstrated recently when he (rightly) pointed out that David Cochrane was unfairly attempting to undermine the mastery of our own domain by doing unnecessarily subversive things like asking questions in media scrums.
But, for the sake of argument, let's take the CBC story at face value and assume that when Yvonne Jones asked the Premier if he had any certainty in the ability of his ministers to do their jobs, he did in fact respond with "I have certainty now that Tom Rideout is gone."
Let that sink in for a moment.
According to Danny Williams, Tom Rideout - a man whose political career stretches back to 1975, who is a former Premier with a cumulative decade of ministerial experience - is incompetent.
On the other hand, Joan Burke's revolutionary "well if the Liberals hadn't screwed everything up during the 1990s, I wouldn't have problems to ignore, now would I?" approach to the Department of Education is positively sublime in its genius.
Kathy Dunderdale's performance in her role as "spokeswoman" of the Natural Resources Department is downright enviable.
And of course, the Honourable Ross Wiseman continues to display stunning prowess in the position of Minister of Health and Community Services, up to and including astonishing four month spurts of illiteracy.
Although, upon further reflection, the question that Jones asked was whether or not the Premier had confidence in his ministers' ability to do their jobs. Which, in his defence, he did answer truthfully: every minister who wasn't Tom Rideout was doing a spectacular job.
This is because in Williams' cabinet, the job isn't managing your portfolio with any degree of competency.
It's towing the Premier's line.
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