We Have Always Been At War With Eastasia

Well it sure has been an intense week here in St. John's as the Premier finally stepped in to decisively state that there's no real problem with Andy Wells keeping his job as mayor and taking the job of chair of th-

Wait, hang on a second, I'm seeing something else here. Wha-

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Well it sure has been an intense week here in St. John's as the Premier finally stepped in to decisively state that Andy Wells can't keep both his job as mayor of St. John's and the job of chair of the PUB and that it has to be one or the other.

It's very refreshing to see a reminder of the proud, strong and determined will of the Williams Administration every once in a while; as a single-issue voter who was wowed entirely on the Premier's uncompromising stance against Prime Minister Stephen Hitler, no matter how detrimental to provincial-federal relations that may have been, I am pleased to see that the man I helped give a Smallwood-esque mandate will not crack in the face of public pressure or otherwise waffle on his stances.

I mean, if he had, someone in the media would have called him on it, right?

...right?

Suzuki Gored by Wells

St. John's mayor Andy Wells stepped up his fight against annoyingly smug environmentalists recently by taking a firm stance on pesticides; specifically, that pesticides are awesome and DDT will save sub-Saharan Africa.

Frankly I think this comes as a breath of fresh air. David Suzuki is an environmentalist, not a chemist. Obviously he has no idea how pesticides (which I might add are chemicals, not environments) work and anything he says on the topic is basically junk science because it's out of his expertise and he's basically just making things up. As for Al Gore, he doesn't even live in this country, let alone this province. Taking his word on anything is pretty much treason, any way you cut it.

Wells should also be congratulated for reminding us of the last time society got all up in arms about pesticides and the damage it caused. Remember DDT? Yeah, while society was patting itself on the back for saving some eggshells by banning DDT we were actually killing black people. And for what? Because it might be harmful?

Well I'll give you the what for: This Wikipedia article states, and I quote:

The EPA, in 1987 , classified DDT as class B2, a probable human carcinogen based on "Observation of tumors (generally of the liver) in seven studies in various mouse strains and three studies in rats.

You see? Probable. Somehow, pseudoscientists like David Suzuki concluded that people might get cancer based on the deaths of some rats, and even then they can't even say anything with full certainty. Plus, that information comes from Wikipedia, which is totally untrustworthy in every conceivable way and in light of that we can safely say DDT probably doesn't cause cancer at any time to anyone ever. Case closed.

It's shocking to see how many people apparently believe scientists like David Suzuki over politicians like Andy Wells. And it's not even like this is Wells' first term. The man has been consistently re-elected to the office of mayor as far back as anyone who matters can remember. Clearly, if he was unfit for the job or wrong in any conceivable way he wouldn't keep getting re-elected, because that sort of thing never happens. Right?