Friday, August 3, 2007

"Were you sent here by the devil?" "No, good sir, I'm on the level!"

Remember that episode of The Simpsons where Phil Hartman's Lyle Lanley character convinces Springfield to build a faulty monorail as a get-rich-quick scheme? More specifically, remember at the end where he's on the plane that makes a surprise stopover in one of the towns he screwed over with a monorail previously and his plane is stormed by an angry torch-wielding mob?

That is the exact scenario I envisioned when I heard this morning that Prime Minister Stephen Harper would be gracing our fair province to look at the damage caused by the recent post-tropical storm. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that it was with the intention of getting a damage assessment so as to provide federal assistance in the cleanup efforts in the relatively near future, as opposed to showing up just to laugh derisively at our misfortune in person before flying back to Ottawa for a delicious meal of kittens with a side of toddlers.

As I sit here writing this entry at this exact moment, the Prime Minister is touring Conception Bay North/Placentia/Dunville, flanked by his favourite Newfoundlanders Loyola Hearn and Fabian Manning. I can only hope that Harper will realise that those towns only look that way after being hit by a very rough storm and do not actually appear in states of disrepair constantly. And you know, since's he's pretty insistent we can do without the Atlantic Accord, he might honestly believe it.

Danny Williams, on the other hand, wasn't asked to come along, and is predictably throwing a tantrum like a six-year-old who wasn't invited to a birthday party. I'm not sure why he was expecting an invite, though; last time I checked, children who hate each other don't generally hang out together outside of a very poorly thought out playdate. Lay off going around telling everyone Stephen Harper is the devil and pick him up a nice Transformers action figure, Premier, and maybe you'll get to play with the big boys again.

Not that Harper is in the right here, either. I'm sure his mother must have taught him to invite all the children to his parties, even the unpopular ones who do nothing but complain about the flavour of the cake or the weird smells coming out of the McDonald's ball pit.

But, hey, kids will be kids I guess. We should enjoy it while it lasts; they grow up so fast, the little darlings.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Every morning that Stephen Harper wakes up in Ontario, or in Quebec, or in Alberta or BC, or when his plane touches down there or anywhere lese in this country, I somehow doubt he calls the Premier there and says, "Your eminence, I humbly ask permission to set foot in your jurisidction and that you accompany me everywhere I go."

R. Raleigh said...

Well, I think it's a pretty big non issue in the rest of the country (Nova Scotia excepted), but this is Premier Danny Williams we're talking about.

So, shhh, you're harshin' the Premier's media buzz, maaaan.

Anonymous said...

Pretty f%cking hilarious to heard Danny Williams bitching today that Harper was only there for a photo op and couldn't rise above petty politics in a time of crisis.

Like Danny didn't have his own photo ops? And like Danny couldn't rise above petty politics?

What an idiot. G-d, will no one rid us of this sack of shit of a Premier?

Anonymous said...

Um, while you may not like Danny, Harper broke protocol by not informing the premier of his intention to visit. It's not asking permission, it is courtesy.

And c'mon! Didn't anyone hear WHY he came? "'Cause Fabian missed a meeting. And well, he doesn't do that often, so maybe those Liberal hacks in the MSM actually had a point and the state of emergency really is serious. Now where is my ill fitting So' Wester and oil skin?"

Look, I think Danny flies off the handle a little too much, but I can't blame him on this one. Steve didn't have to set up meetings, or even arrange to meet Danny out in Dunville. All he had to do is get one of the interns to pick up a phone to say "Listen, Fearless Leader is coming to town tomorrow." Jeez, I'm pretty sure Danny has a Blackberry, or at least a cell phone that accepts texts- even that would have been something!

Anonymous said...

Harper came for the same reason Danny came: the photo-op. No more, no less.

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